News, Notes, and Dispatches From Wherever Coconuts Grow

September 17, 2010

Regarding the blog and the domain

Dear friends:

I am getting a ton of inquiries about the domain, along the lines of "Would you sell it to us, please?"

As I have said, even in this blog, and for countless years: I have owned this domain since 1989 when I first registered it. I have no intention of selling it, never have. However, as I have told countless people who keep asking, I *would* entertain a very serious legitimate offer of $1,000,000.00 or better. Otherwise, forget it.

As for the status of the blog -- in 2008 my server had a disk failure, and it scrozzled the Movable Type database for this and my other blogs. I fixed some of them but have yet to get around to fixing so I can continue updates here. I do plan to get around to it in the next month or three.

February 22, 2008

Danger: Coconuts!

A roundup of recent fatalities around the world due to coconuts and coconut trees:

Meanwhile, the Salisbury, Massachusetts coconut mystery case appears to have been solved. Originally blogged here. News update here.

Posted by brian at 12:02 PM | Coconut Danger | Comments (0)

February 21, 2008

When Coconut Means Something Else

Funny how cultures differ in their racist slang. In the US, generations of schoolkids grew up familiar to the term "oreo", used to describe people who were "black on the outside but white on the inside."

In Africa, South Africa at least, they don't use "oreo", they use "coconut" for the same general purpose.

Here's an example of a South African editorial disparaging the rise of "intellectual coconuts" who write too much.

Posted by brian at 01:42 PM | Africa | Comments (0)

January 16, 2008

The Mystery Names Inside the Coconut

And from the Newburyport (Massachusetts) Daily News comes this story, Man Seeks to Solve Mystery of the Names in the Coconut. Seems this guy named Tom Small of Salisbury, MA, found a coconut washed up on a nearby beach. The coconut appeared to have been opened and then resealed with tinfoil and wax.
. . . Small, 59, brought the coconut to his brother's house, where they told him to forget it and that his story sounded as "nutty" as his coconut. But Small could not put the treasure out of his mind and decided instead to find out what was inside.

Using a hammer, Small and his friends cracked it open, spilling a thick liquid onto the ground and revealing a series of small notes.

A brown paper list of names was fused to the inside. Other tiny slips of paper lined the interior of the nut, also covered in names.

"The names all sound Spanish," Small said noting the last names are Lopez, Pena, Romero and Rivera. "I would like to think the coconut came here from a far away island where it is warm all the time, but I bet it is from upriver, from Lowell or Lawrence." . . . .

The article goes on to say that he signed his own name to the list and re-sealed it and plans to throw it back into the deep blue sea this summer when he goes deep sea fishing.

One sure hopes he at least posts the names on the Web somewhere!

Posted by brian at 04:43 PM | North America | Comments (0)

Wanna Know Who's Gonna Be Prez? Consult a Coconut. Well, Maybe.

The Miami Herald reports that the oracles have spoken:

. . . In an email from Armando Durán, a babalawo (Santería priest) and spiritual guide of the Cabildo, the interpretation of the letra (forecast) for 2008 made by the Comisión de la Letra del Año, an important Santería association, is incorrect. The prediction was based on a fable about a coconut and interpreted the coconut's black exterior as meaning that ''a black man will triumph,'' a reference to Obama's ascendancy.

Durán emphasizes that the full story says the coconut was originally white both outside and in, and that what's important is that the coconut gave birth to a ''saint'' -- a Santería deity. Since only women can give birth, Durán claims the oracles are pointing to victory by a woman, Hillary Clinton. . .

This article was a follow-up to a longer article from January 5th, which reported on the annual Santeria letras which said in part,

. . . At the same time, he said, the coconut's dark outer layer signals that ''a black man may triumph,'' which Erice sees as a clear reference to Barack Obama. Noting that the letra was issued three days before the Iowa caucus, he asked, ``Who would've thought Obama would've gone over all the other candidates?'' . . .

Posted by brian at 04:34 PM | Da Kine Category | Comments (123)

January 05, 2008

Coconuts: Delicious, or Deadly?

Calvin Godfrey does not like coconuts.

When I first arrived in Miami, I was happy about all the coconuts. I bought a machete and looked forward to lavish coconut-splitting parties, involving rivers of rum and armies of women. The day never came.

And now I hate the coconuts.

They’re everywhere. And frankly, I’m beginning to think they’re a danger to us all.

I mean, they do just fall. You know. They might just fall on your head. They probably already have. . . .

Full story available here. What's cool is that the article cites this blog!

Posted by brian at 07:52 PM | North America | Comments (476)

Man Dies After Falling from Coconut Tree

From Newsday in Trinidad and Tobago comes this sad news:

REGINALD BEST, 46, who died after falling 65 feet from a coconut tree on Wednesday, was given a final farewell by family and friends at a funeral service yesterday. Officiating at the service was Pastor Suresh Harripersad, who lent Best a ladder to climb the tree.

Grieving relatives said it was customary for Best to borrow pastor Harripersad’s ladder to get coconuts in the Debe Trace, Debe area where he lived.

Full story available here.

Posted by brian at 07:46 PM | Caribbean | Comments (461)

December 28, 2007

Needed: Coconut Pluckers. Plenty of Work Available.

Looking for an outdoors job? Enjoy climbing coconut palm trees?

The Hindu News reports that there is a severe shortage of coconut pluckers in Kerala.

Kerala, 'the land of coconuts' is hit by acute shortage of tree climbers and farmhands, forcing the government to think about measures like starting a training school to create a pool of workers.

From this news article.

Posted by brian at 11:51 AM | Indian Ocean | Comments (26)

Former TV Star Drives Around w/ Coconut in Front Seat

Hey, whatever.

Elsewhere you wouldn't care to know. But here at the Coconut Blog, this is news.

Current has-been, former TV star / pinup girl reportedly drives around Palm Beach, FL, with a coconut in her front seat, simply because she loves coconuts:

Here's the truth. It might be easy to dismiss her as a dumb blonde, pardon the stereotype, who toots around town in her Mercedes with a coconut in the front seat (she loves coconuts) and a stack of red-and-gold hangers she ordered off QVC in the back (she needs to organize her mother's closet). But this might prove a mistake - even with the Elvis brush.

From this news article.

Posted by brian at 11:29 AM | Da Kine Category | Comments (26)

Meet Harry S Truman, the Coconut

If you go visit the Harry S Truman Presidential Library between now and January 4th, one of the exhibits you'll be able to see is the coconut carved into the head of the former president himself. It's all part of the "Treasures of the Presidents" exhibit that ends on Jan. 4th.

Here's a news article with more details.

Posted by brian at 11:20 AM | Da Kine Category | Comments (53)

December 18, 2007

Coconuts Washing Cars

CNET News has a story about "The waterless car wash", a liquid you spray on your car to attract dirt, then wipe off later.

Lucky Earth Products has come up with a liquid, called Green Earth Waterless Car Wash, that lets you wash your car without buckets, hoses, brushes, or gallons of water. The compound--made out of water, coconut extracts, silicone, and a bit of salt--gets misted onto your car. Once there, it attracts dirt via electrostatic principles and encapsulates it. The owner then wipes their car with a soft cloth.

Posted by brian at 01:48 PM | Coconut Industry | Comments (30)

Scaring Kids with Coconuts

This one's pretty original . . . a newspaper story about making a kid believe that a coconut was a shrunken head:

" Being the mischievous big sister, I lived to taunt my brother. Once when my grandmother purchased a fresh coconut from the store to make a cake, Taylor saw it in the kitchen and wanted to know what it was. I convinced him the coconut was a shrunken head, and he was horrified. At first, Mama frowned on my chasing a screaming Taylor around the house shaking the coconut at him. Then, she had a brilliant idea.

The next Christmas, Mama placed a fresh coconut under our Christmas tree, and Taylor wouldn't go near it, assuring the ornaments remained intact from then on.

The tradition of placing a coconut under the Christmas tree continued in my family until my parents passed away. Even after Taylor and I grew up and left home, we'd return at the holidays to find a coconut perched under the tree. . . .

Posted by brian at 01:41 PM | Da Kine Category | Comments (55)

World's First Climate Change Refugees Leave Island Due to Rising Sea Levels

A followup to this Coconut Blog entry from 2005: Grim story of rising sea levels in the Carteret Islands...

"For drinking all we can rely on now is rainwater and coconut juice, but even the coconut trees are dying. You can walk along the beach and see just the bottoms of dead trees sticking up through the sand . . .

The roots and branches of trees destroyed by the encroaching salt water have become a breeding ground for malaria-carrying mosquitoes and unripened coconuts that have fallen from trees unable to hold them litter the swampy paths from the beach."

Posted by brian at 01:29 PM | Oceania | Comments (57)

May 07, 2007

CocoFuel in the Solomon Islands

Another cocofuel story...

"HONIARA (Reuters Life!) - Who needs crude oil when you've got cheap coconuts?

An Australian entrepreneur based in the Solomons Islands is producing fuel and profits from the fruit he sells locally for 70 U.S. cents a liter, slightly less than the price of regular fuel."

Full story here.

Posted by brian at 07:06 AM | Coconut Industry

January 17, 2007

Salon on Coco-Fuels has a story up on coconut-based fuel energy:

Exhibiting a severe case of Brazil-envy, Philippines President Gloria Arroyo signed the Biofuel Act of 2006 into law last week, mandating that all diesel fuel and gasoline used in the country include set percentages of biodiesel and ethanol. The goal: energy security. Just like Brazil.

With one key difference. In Brazil, ethanol is manufactured from a sugar cane, and biodiesel is made mostly from soybeans. In the Philippines, the magic feedstock is coconut.

There are a lot of coconuts in the Philippines. But 2006 was a rough year for coconut farmers. The Philippine islands were ravaged by a string of super-typhoons, devastating production. Now, reports Biopact, legislator Juan Miguel Zubiri, the author of the Biofuel Act, is suggesting that profits from the biofuel program be allocated toward the replanting of coconut plantations in the affected areas.

. . .

See full story here (Salon Premium account required).

October 28, 2006

Coconut Videos

What does YouTube have to say about coconuts?

Da Coconut Nut by Ryan Cayabyab:

Here's a commercial. Only one problem. They're not coconut palm trees. Oh well:

Someone trying to break open a coconut with their head. Not too bright:

More people trying to open coconuts, the wrong way:

Finally, someone who opens it successfully, sort of. She's scary with that knife, though!

Harry Nillson sings his song "Coconut":

Posted by brian at 12:50 PM | Da Kine Category | Comments (0)

Ketamine Disguised as Coconut Charcoal

What will they think of next...

Big haul of Ketamine in Chennai
Chennai, Oct 28: The Directorate of Revenue Intelligence (DRI) seized 30 kg of ketamine, an internationally banned drug, worth over Rs three crore in the global market on October 26, a DRI press release said.

The drug was concealed in a consignment of export goods declared as coconut shell charcoal in the name of a Chennai based company and was consigned to Taiwan, the release said.

During enquiry, the exporter denied having sent the consignment and held that the company usually exported textiles only to Sri Lanka and not to Taiwan, the release said.

In two previous raids, the DRI, Chennai, had seized 15 kg of ketamine consigned for Hong Kong and China, the release added. (Our Correspondent)


Posted by brian at 12:42 PM | Indian Ocean | Comments (0)

July 16, 2006

The Question about the Domain

Every few weeks of every month of every year going back to the 1990s, I have received emails and the occasional phone call that goes something like this:


I am interested in purchasing your domain

If interested in selling please reply at your earliest convenience. Also let me know the asking price or we can just submit an offer. Either way works.

Thanks for your time,


Always the same type of message. They want the domain. And I always reply with the same response.

Here is my response, for all future inquirers:

I have owned this domain since 1989, when I originally registered it with InterNIC. I have faithfully renewed it on a regular basis. It's even renewed years out into the future. I have never had any interest in selling the domain. But since everyone always asks how much I would sell it for, I have come up with a completely random figure: US $320,000.00. Yes, three hundred twenty thousand U.S. dollars. I came up with that figure in the 1990s. It hasn't changed and here it is 2007. I suppose I should increase it. But then, I have no interest in selling so, whatever.

Posted by brian at 09:27 AM | Da Kine Category | Comments (0)

June 04, 2006

Killer Coconuts

Somehow I doubt this is true, but here's a quote from some bloggers on Travelpod:

"Again we have been told that the number one killer overall in throughout Africa is not the hippo or crocidile. It is actually the coconut. No I am not joking. More people die every year from coconut falling on their head than any animal attacks."

Meanwhile, here's a 2002 StraightDope article entitled, "Are 150 people killed each year by falling coconuts?"

Posted by brian at 02:38 PM | Da Kine Category | Comments (0)

Smashing Coconuts for Good Luck

"We stayed for about an hour, smelling the inscence, watching the pilgrims and locals go into the temple and make their offerings...usually fruit or flowers, once they have given their offerning they come outside and at Kataragamas shrine they set a coconut alight...make a prayer...then throw the coconut hard at the floor of the shrine, if the coconut breaks in half its good luck, if it doesnt..well!?! Nearly everyone did this - its a huge tradition and something that they strongly believe in."

From a travel blog post by Ali and Matt at Travelpod. Lots of Travelpod bloggers mentioning coconuts these days...

Posted by brian at 02:22 PM | | Comments (0)

June 03, 2006

Ok this is getting creepy

I wonder if this Connecticut incident (here's an alternate link to the same AP wire story) is at all related to the UK incident reported on this blog.

Posted by brian at 08:07 PM | Da Kine Category | Comments (0)

Live near an angry volcano? Offer it coconuts

That's what they do in Java, near Mount Merapi, according to this article: "... Apart from the relative risks of leaving or staying put, many villagers feel a spiritual attachment to Merapi. The volcano is shrouded in superstition. Once a year they perform a ritual to placate it, offering up gifts of rice, green coconuts, and cow's liver..."

Posted by brian at 08:00 PM | Indian Ocean | Comments (0)

More uses of 'Ccoonut' as pejorative

A Villiage Voice book review of Londonstani and the use of the term "coconut" to describe brown-skinned Asians who "act white".

Here's another review of the same book, with more references to the "coconut" term, from the Business Standard.

Posted by brian at 07:54 PM | Da Kine Category | Comments (0)

Shopper's Guide to Buying Coconuts

The Telegraph in the UK offers tips on smart shopping for coconuts.
Posted by brian at 07:51 PM | Da Kine Category | Comments (0)

May 22, 2006

Go, Keith, Go, Climb, Keith, Climb

Musical satirists Paul and Storm have taken the melody of Beverly Hillbillies and adopted it to a little tune about poor Keith Richards falling out of a coconut palm tree.

Some of the lyrics:

The aging british rocker got halfway up the tree
But he wasn't quite as nimble as he used to be
Years of smack and bourbon and worn away his bones
And so he lost his grip and he dropped just like a stone

The full song in MP3 format is available here.

Posted by brian at 08:06 AM | South Pacific | Comments (0)

May 13, 2006

Rolling Stones and Falling Coconuts

News all over the world this week about Keith Richards falling out of a coconut palm tree.

Evidently he fell out of the tree while collecting coconuts with Ron Wood.

Story here.

Posted by brian at 08:57 AM | South Pacific | Comments (0)

The Cocotap

From an Australian news website comes this story about the Cocotap invention:

Necessity is the mother of invention and for "new inventor" Paul Richardson his love of coconut milk was the birth of an interesting new contraption.

Paul has devised a tool that allows the user to easily tap a coconut at any level of maturity, allowing the delicious milk to be easily accessed and consumed.

Paul says that the cocotap is of a practical design that is also easy to use....

More on the Cocotap at this New Inventors website.

Posted by brian at 08:53 AM | Da Kine Category | Comments (1)

The Training School for Macaques

Here's an Indonesian school that teaches macaque monkeys to climb palm trees and pluck coconuts.

Posted by brian at 08:48 AM | Asia | Comments (0)

The Mystery of the 12 Coconuts

"Is the Canal Being Used for Strange Rituals?" a Bucks Free Press headline asks, in a UK story about a canal near the Thames river that was being cleaned up by volunteers when they came across "12 coconuts, 12 nails, and a package full of lentils."

Obviously a strange cult at work.

Or maybe not.

Posted by brian at 08:43 AM | Da Kine Category | Comments (0)

April 14, 2006

The vanishing of a tropical nation

"Rising seas are swamping the 33-island republic of Kiribati. Where will its 100,000 inhabitants go when their country becomes uninhabitable?"

Interesting article on the situation in Kiribati.

From the article:

"I have no doubt that these islands will be inundated," says MacKenzie, "or if they're not inundated, that the livelihood of people will be very difficult, because [climate change] will affect saltwater incursion into our water tables, it will affect our plant life, and it will affect the water we drink."

MacKenzie gazes off to the right toward the curving line of coconut palms spanning the 40-mile coast of the lagoon before him. Beads of sweat cross his brow, and he raises a hand to shield his eyes from the sun.

"It's interesting," he says. "People on the islands have begun to measure erosion according to how many rows of coconut trees have died back. There used to be three rows of trees here" -- he points to the open, sandy beach -- "but now they are gone."

Posted by brian at 10:56 PM | South Pacific | Comments (0)

March 25, 2006

World's Largest Coconut Orchestra

Well, sort of.

Details here.

A little snippet of video from the actual event here thanks to Rocketboom.

Posted by brian at 12:57 PM | Da Kine Category | Comments (0)

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